My family died reddit At her wake, while my grandma was giving a speech, I was desperate to burst out My grandpa died about a month ago and since then, I’ve had horrible anxiety and thoughts about my grandmother (who I live with and call “mom”) dying. I had to first of all tendon in pilot mode to focus on the aftermath, the funeral and my family fell apart. I actually took care of my mother during her passing so I know that the death of a parent can bring on very complex emotions. Both were found dead by my mom. when i got there, i saw my mom was beyond worse. Thank you so much. Just before my aunt died, she was speaking in sign language to someone. I loved them and was close to them so that might not be it. Last year my grandmother died on my 21st birthday. two and a half weeks ago I had the worst day of my life, the last day of my dear sweet cat's life. My favorite Uncle (66) died in the same month unexpectedly. Cancer. He was so lively, kind, full of life, and was an absolutely beautiful baby boy. It took me two years to feel again. My dad died suddenly of a subarachnoid haemorrhage, or stroke. i always loved my dad so much even though he really hurt me at times. July 2020, my sister (41) died suddenly. When my maternal grandmother (Catholic) died, it was very sad for many days around the house. She was the disciplinarian of the family and my parents were very strict with me. They were all understanding. I didn’t need reminders of my family getting together without me and ,of course, no one noticed, I wasn’t surprised in the least. together…I will never relate and if I were to tell you about my life it would make you uncomfortable to hear it - so why bother. Part of my brain I think was protecting the other parts that were at risk for trauma from the event. It’s our bodies on emergency mode trying to protect ourselves. my aforementioned oldest sister died unexpectedly in february of this year. My dad and sister have been dead over 20 years. People can gather and give speeches, talk about him and the feeling will be positive and happy. I can tell my bf didn't know how to respond to certain situations as he's 27 as well and never experienced the death of any of his immediate family. I'm crying a river right now writing about him. she was barely recognizable. My daddy passed in 2020, my mom in 2022 and still am caring for my husband's 94 year old aunt with end stage dementia. What I've found is that there is a family that I get to build myself. In May of 2021, my Mother-in-Law (79) died. My Dad was my personal hero; a man who would travel to the ends of the Earth for his children. The trauma and stress of caring for my parents contributed to my stroke and heart surgery. My mom died in 2014, and I spiralled down a depression hole. he’s was 5 when it happened. When my grandma died during my shift at her bedside I was mostly numb and stayed that way because I felt an obligation to my mom to be the one to keep it together. I can't even ensure my safety let alone my mental health. They’ve raised me since the death of my father. The war is still on. When my uncle died after complications from surgery, I was initially numb but was able to process grief after playing music. He told me one of the tools he uses is gratitude. You go home. I didn’t know her well, but I wasn’t glad that when she died there was no pain or anything. Family isn't by blood. He is prone to rage attacks where he shouts and become verbally violent As the title says, a young member of my family died tragically several days ago. You can let your LM a know by email that the person has died and that you’ll be taking some time off, and then provide the note when you return to work. Honestly, I prefer the shorter grieving process. We barely spoke at all, He really seemed to care about what was going in my life or how I was . She left me the day before my Mom’s estate sale, and a week before the first Mother’s Day without my Mom. It’s the first death that I’ve had to experience of someone in my immediate family, besides my dad when I was 1. My father had so many debts. When I lost my family, I was in kind of a daze for a long tome. When my husband got close to 50, a lot of the friends of his youth started dying and I wrote it off to lifestyle. We are supposed to wrap up someone's entire life inside a one-hour church service and a little gathering in the family home for a couple of hours? My family plan to throw a memorial party for my Dad at some point in the future. Maybe people who have had an abusive father (although he’s not directly abusive towards me) can relate to this. I explained all of it to my family, and made it very clear that I felt terrible that I wasn't able to make it. My mom died in 2020. Most of my family dies between 65-75. It was the same as well when my nan died, she had been nasty to me as a child and even though I saw her getting worse with dementia, I still felt nothing for the woman. I've felt that way myself about my own life before. When I was young quite a few people in my family died so I kind of was used to it. My best friends are family. Onto my dad, who I don't even think deserves to be called a father. So I kept really busy doing all kinds of stuff- dealing with the estate was a huge part of it, and I put a lot of focus into that. That week they both died in a car accident, with the suspicion that my mom (the driver) did it on purpose as a murder-suicide kind of thing related to the affair. I did spend about 3 weeks away from home when we held a second service for my dad. I emailed my Professor and CC'ed the department chair. My brother and I were best friends, he was even my My mother passed a month ago today. My parents have died, and my brothers are somewhat estranged. 5 year old baby brother died tragically in a car accident. 11 days ago, on my 27th birthday, my 25 and 22 year old brothers died in a car accident. I would love to know. I was devastated. This has meant that not only am I grieving my parents but also the loss of my family unit. So when my dad died last month, my sister and I rushed to call relatives before it got out on Facebook. We are suspecting this is the cause of her death as well but still waiting on results. Its kind of odd because I saw this family member a lot growing up as we were the same age. It really hard. i remember feeling angry a In other words, only immediate family members, legal representatives and other persons with a legal interest, and private investigators can access death certificates from the last 50 years. I made it so none of my siblings could reach out to me. I was recently shopping for prom dresses with my sister and overheard a lot of the teen girls sniping at their moms, being rude or snippy or dismissive of them. All they would do is recommend to counseling. Just near my house. My half sister was only there like less than half the time and now she lives far away from everyone and the family. It stands in very stark contrast to my Roman Catholic family who go full ritual on death. The grief of the death wore more on her it felt, with guilt and pressure building while I was fully ready to drive to see her as often as I needed to. Going to work makes me so anxious. I had 17 month period of nobody in my family dying, until this month when my paternal Grandmother (96) died on the 3rd When my husband died, I used to wonder why it couldn't have been one of my parents instead. Two years ago my aunt died and again, I wasn’t really crying or I think what you wrote was really beautiful. Neither had a legal will. Secondly, my family and my husband's family pulled together and rallied around me. It was nice to get away. The only family members thats died in my family is my grandfather and my great grandfather. Then I had a sudden lost of my sweet puppy of 13 years completely unexpected. I hope you can find the willingness and ability to get some help and find a way to improve and be happier. I'm pretending to care so as not to seem like an asshole. He was perfect. The next day my father killed himself. Felt I had no support. But I try to never judge my thoughts (anymore). Yes. Some days are better than others, but the void he left is something I feel everyday. His funeral was across the country and I made the decision to go because he was like a brother to me. That December, my Aunt's husband died of cancer. I know it might seem like there's no hope and nothing will make you better, I understand. My uncle has battled depression his whole life, so when it hit me, I turned to him as a resource. Knock on the door. You have lost a lot of your family, but find support in the rest of your family. But I had to do it because I knew my parents were going to die during NC because of their age and health. Nov 17, 2024 · I am 24F and my mom died last year. I pulled away from everyone. My sister accidentally overdosed (2006), my mother passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack (at 53 in 2013; she had MS), my brother committed suicide (2013) (he had a previous traumatic brain injury), and one of my other brothers committed suicide (2018) as well (he had cluster migraine, or “suicide headaches”). We also found out he didn't even own the home he was in- he had sold it and was renting it from the company he sold it to. I think if getting away from it helps you grieve, you should. If I may ask, how long did it take until you got autopsy results back? My mother's death was so sudden and my close family and I are just waiting and waiting for these results which seems like forever. I loved her very much. I hadn’t even been NC for a year when my dad died. it wasn’t until he died that i started having repressed memories pop up. I miss her and everything, but I remember feeling just passed the one year anniversary of my mom's death, I was 26 and she was 56 when she died and she was my best friend, biggest cheerleader, and my favorite source of advice. My oldest brother drowned when I was young, my younger brother died when I was still a teenager (we were very close) and over the last 2 years I've lost my remaining brother and both parents. Car was title loaned out. but she is still with me, part of me. I don't have kids, I'm not in a relationship, I moved home to take care of my mom. But I didn’t do anything like my other family. I consider my father’s death the final moment in the longer, more tangible death of my parents. i moved home in march to be with my family. More recently, a less-close family member died, and for many of the same reasons you've listed above (plus some), I wasn't able to go back. Being that my dad wasn’t married and I am his only child, I had a lot on my plate at such a young age. I've had my own battles with depression and I have always been fortunate enough to have my family to lean on. growing up, i never realized i was enduring abuse and trauma, i thought everything about my life was pretty normal. “You want to know why I’m always so depressed? So sullen? Two weeks ago, my mother died,” Quiet arose, “My brother died. My great grandmother died a short while ago. My Father died 4 days after his 65 b'day. My dad was awesome. Two weeks later my MIL was Dx with cancer. To be honest, when someone dies, you should just remember the good times. You go work with friends. It’s normal. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I have only attended three funerals in my life and two of which were for my grandparents who I saw maybe once or twice a year until they died. (She just died) and I'm in a small town where I don't really know anybody. my dad ended his life 5 years ago. I was close to her but I didn’t cry. But last week I found myself thinking, if my father died, I could at least inherent some money so I can quit my job and try to heal. Like, it almost didn’t feel real. My pets are family. i was so angry when i started The day my mom died, my sister decided to blow up the family group chat with her grievances on how horrible I was for keeping our mother from her, eventhough just hours before, I had held my phone while shaking and crying up to my mom so my sister could facetime and say goodbye. something i have come to believe is that death is just another beginning. They're for you just as much as the rest of your family. it’s hard to handle sometimes i’ve been taking care of my little brother since our dad passed away to help his mom who works 2 jobs now . Then it turned out that my mom was cheating on my dad and he confronted her about it. The main things I want to find out about you are how you work through solving problems and what makes you tick. As some backstory, I am fairly young and haven't experienced death too often. When my grandfather died i didn't really feel any emotional response to it, as i wasn't really that close with him. A member of my family passed away and I very easily got a note from my doctor (didn’t even have to talk to them) which enabled me to get signed off for however long I wanted. I was emotionally and mentally exhausted. No one in the room could communicate in sign language, so no one knew what she was saying or who she was talking to. Im a nurse trying to save peoples lives, while inside having suicidal thoughts. It didn’t truly start to begin dealing with my grief myself properly. My bf was kinda like yours, he didn't ask too much or bring it up much. This was a loss of unimaginable proportions and I still can't talk about him without bawling my eyes out. I had a younger brother and a half sister. But when my dad ultimately died he drove us two hours to my moms house to be with her at one morning. I was moving through the grief well. After my husband passed from cancer, my family ordered MCAlisters and had lunch with him dead on the couch. i was devastated. It's perfectly normal to be numb and perfectly normal to My partner broke up with me from the stress of her own family health issues and a death of an immediate family member in my family. Look… My grandparents on my dad’s side were deaf. Today I realized I'm starting to dread my own birthday. My entire family is in grieving, my parents, aunts, uncles won't stop crying. Recent events in my life have caused me to question whether or not I am processing my emotions correctly. It's funny you should ask this now as a family member of mine has died this month and I feel nothing too. My sister died. But I remember not to be actually shaken by it but always pretended and fake cried because I had the feeling people expected me to. I have no idea how that is normal but nobody in my family ever talked much about it and I just put it in the back of my mind. When my uncle on my mom’s side died, he was in his living room with his wife. Feeling lost or that your entire life's been surrounded by losses is a natural part of the grieving process. I too was always an introvert and socializing was agonizing. But with my younger brother Mar 25, 2025 · A seemingly simple question posted to Reddit has opened the floodgates of memory and grief, as thousands of users reflected on the poignant, often heartbreaking words spoken by loved ones nearing Having children/a partner isn't the only way to build new family. I live in Gaza, Israel airstriked my whole family house, killing my loved family, my father, mother, 2 sisters, and their daughters, and my little brother. You don’t need to cry. I am only just now kind of crawling out of my grief. Everyone pitched in and helped, each contributing based on their own skill set to help me get my life back together. I emailed him my receipts and took my midterm. i hear her and sense her presence so distinctly and I will talk to her in those moments. We were very close and her death was sudden, so it was a lot to process at the time. The exact same thing happened to me, a few days ago I learned of the death of my cousin of which I've only met around 10 times then just today my grandfather whom I've been around at least 10-20 times per-year on average died from bone cancer and I'm yet to feel anything but sympathy for my family My childhood friend died. " I have tried Googling "obituary" with the person's full name and birthday (with and without 'Arizona' included) and have not been able to find anything But you haven't lost all of your immediate family. I didn’t have the money or time off to get away from it. A shoulder to cry on. The family that I could rely on. But I'm confused nonetheless, how should I perceive the world anymore? Years before my mom died, my 2. Sep 13, 2022 · Discussing your feelings helps you cope and move forward when your last parent dies or when you’re the only person left alive in your family. My dad was killed and it left me and my family in shambles. he has begun to realize now he’s not coming back and it breaks me down seeing this process knowing i was that little kid and that my baby brother will go through the life how i did. It was devastating. My Mom at 85 is the last one standing of her siblings. My parents are not divorced although I wish they were, my father is the kind of person everybody walks on eggshells around him. My dad died and my entire family turned their backs on me, and you’re telling me YOU got to have your parents for a long time, you see them every day, your mom just helped you buy a house, you guys go to concerts etc. He has his own business and was very not involved in my life AT ALL. thank you. Adopted kids are family. If you told me that in an interview I would offer my condolences and see if a conversation developed from that. The brain will protect you. I am living in their house, my childhood home, and am starting to have a hard time paying the rent. A face opens it. In my 40s and beyond, it became cancer and other health issues. And not in an "I'm numb" kind of way, I just don't feel anything. We’ve been living halfway across the world from each other since I was 18 and they have slowly died to me as figures who I considered family. 😔 I would say my 30s was the only decade of my life that was pretty death-free. In 2001, My mother unexpectedly died when I was 6. i myself have had a near death experience. In my 20s, my peers died from car accidents or suicide. When my brother died unexpectedly, my aunt and a few cousins found out on Facebook before I could call them. My great grandma died over a decade ago, when I was a teenager. Your wife is family. Just because you are sad, it doesn’t mean you need to cry. I'd say I'm still figuring out how to deal with it. We choose our family. The school board told me focus on my family and not worry about the work, so I did not go to school for 2 weeks and when I came back I had over 30 assignments to do and I could not believe. I then moved in with my mother practically for some many months. Recently my dog passed as well, and my brain did the exact same thing. My mom went out of her fucking mind and she's still crazy but I love her anyways. As he rightly deserves. Interesting how he didn't have the same energy when I spoke to him in person the day my friend died. she couldnt remember the names of my oldest friends, people that had been deeply close with our family for decades, she could not be left alone, she And she was the family Health Nut that did everything "right". My parents never had mental illness, they were just overwhelmed with grief. I stayed here when my dad passed. My wife left me 6 months after my mom died, and that brought the immense feeling of loss I experienced with my Mom, right back to the front. I lost my dad in 2008 when I was 13. I never even announced it because he had so many friends, it was pretty viral. Then it was unbearable. It was kind of surreal like "Holy shit i feel nothing" even at his funeral. It's coming up on two years since my Dad died, and it's still a struggle. I'm sorry you lost your brother. When I was 25 I was teaching and thriving. It’s the worst kind of pain I know. And I don't give a shit at all. The friends are worse than family. You people, oppressors, wake up. My teachers all knew about my father’s death but they kept treating me as if nothing happened. My FIL died 3 hours after my Zoom retirement party 2020 and the day after his 84th b'day. It manifested itself in a lot of anger and I actually lost a good friend due to that. Family members that had not been on speaking terms for years put aside their differences in their commitment to helping me. My father died unexpectedly on June 26th, then my brother died of a heroin overdose 4-5 days later. But then I got some help and started taking the right medication and my life is much better now. I havnt talk to my dad in 3 years. I cannot remember one time he took me out on a father son trip or asked me how school was going etc in High School. She was 46. 3 days ago we had their funeral, then my mother killed herself. I am the last in the family. I've slowly started to heal from the loss, but now that my 22nd birthday is around a month away, I've been a wreck. She was probably one of the only people who had a first-hand positive impact on me; she was so supportive of my aspirations when my parents weren't, and always happy to see me. I remember asking my family, “Why am I not crying?” They said it was normal. My grandmother told her children several times that when she died, she didn't want any big to-do about it. Why was the good person going? Now after a long time of NC, I have mostly stopped caring whether or not they live or die, but I will still be pleased to hear that they are no longer around some day because of the finality that will bring.
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